Nov 25 2008
I am bipolar, but that is not who I am.
I am bipolar, but that doesn’t make me who I am.
It’s true that I may have to work harder to be who I want to be, but it doesn’t stop me from doing just that. I am determined. This is the only way I can survive day to day.
I am a rarity in a lot of ways, I suppose. I don’t drink alcohol or take any type of drug other than what is prescribed to me. I have told countless other people who complain that their meds don’t work that they never will as long as they drink or do drugs. It is impossible to get your head straight when you purposely take things to screw it up. Any efforts to treat this and many other disorders will not be successful if you drink or take illegal drugs. You have to commit to getting better and this is part of it.
You can’t fall into the trap of blaming everything on your disorder. It would be very easy for me to do. I’m sure I could get away with a lot more if I did, but isn’t that a cop out? I feel like that is giving up or giving in and allowing it to take control of you. I want to be in control and I am not going to let this control me…at least not without putting up a darn good fight. I may be bipolar, but I am still responsible for my own actions and I must still face the consequences of any action I take. I don’t let people around me take care of my problems or fix things for me. I push harder to do better and avoid making mistakes that would cause problems. It’s not a choice anymore; it’s a must.
Don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for myself. This is my life and this is how I was meant to be. It serves no purpose for me to wallow in self-pity. In fact, feeling sorry for myself would only make things worse. This is who I am and everything I deal with all adds up to make me the person I am. I am a unique individual, and in that way I am just like everyone else.
Keep up the good fight and don’t let things get you down! We all have bad days and some seem to drag on forever. Tomorrow is always around the corner and with it is the chance of sunnier days.
I understand how you feel, living with bipolar disorder is my life and my responsibility. But, balance is need since this disorder takes us in so many extremes. We need to know what we can handle and what is just out of our control.
“I am still responsible for my own actions and I must still face the consequences of any action I take”
This is true, but I worry about it becoming a vicious circle of beating our-self up over what is out of our hands. I did that for years and even still sometimes have issues with that but it has been a comfort for me to know that some stuff was just the illness and not me.
Bipolar Disorder is NOT ME, it just something I live and deal with… It’s not who I am or the person I want to be, it just a chemical messed up in me that can be regulated with meds and behavioral techniques so I can be the father, husband, man I should be.
Chato
p.s.
This cartoons was was done with a similar post:
http://mentalhealthhumor.today.com/files/2008/06/mhh_card_500.jpg
Chato, I have been looking at your blog for a few days now and I really enjoy your cartoons.
I do have times where it is impossible for me to be in control and it is frustrating. Control is a big thing for me and, as you said, I sometimes end up beating myself up for it.
It’s another issue I am working on. I try to take one thing at a time and work to resolve it to the best of my ability and stick with that. After all, it’s the best I can do and as long as I am doing my best then I have done all I can, right?
For anyone who has not yet seen Chato’s blog, please visit http://mentalhealthhumor.today.com/. Humor really does help and he has done a splendid job of bringing humor to mental health issues.
I’ve always felt like this. My sister says she is diagnosed with bipolar a few years back, yet I didn’t or couldn’t see her with that *label*. She is so much more, and while it helps to understand her deeply, being bipolar is not who she is to me. Thankyou for sharing…
It is absolutely wonderful that you see beyond your sister’s condition. So many people look at those of us diagnosed with this disorder as just bipolar or crazy. We need more people like you in the world!