Nov 26 2008
Holidays and Bipolar Disorder: How do I keep my mouth shut?
The holidays are upon us. Any time I have to be in a crowd of people, I am uneasy. I also know people will start talking about things that will get under my skin and I will have to walk away.
I learned a few years ago that it helps for me to loudly announce that I am walking away before I say something to upset someone. A smart person will change the subject before I return, but there are a few who seem to enjoy getting me riled up.
Now there is only so much goading that I can take so if I have walked away and come back to hear the same topic of discussion, someone is going to hear my opinion and that someone is usually not going to be happy about it. I feel I gave them fair warning. It seems to me that some of them just want me to get riled up. I am happy to oblige those people and always do. A person only has so much restraint and self-control, you know?
Another thing that gets me is when people ask my opinion knowing all the while that they don’t really want to know how I feel on the subject. If you don’t want to know, don’t ask me. Once you have asked me, I feel it is only right for me to be completely honest and tell you exactly what I think. I have an opinion on everything and I tend to be brutally honest. I don’t sugar coat a thing. I find that most people can’t deal with that. I try to avoid these situations but it’s not always something I can do.
Some people use my matter-of-factness to amuse themselves. If there is a problem, they’ll ask me to take care of it. Sometimes I wonder why others think I am so far out there but then I will remember all the times where I have been the one chosen to settle a dispute or remedy a situation. That’s why. Someone purposely had me show my bad side.
You are probably wondering what any of this has to do with the holidays. I know that by Sunday I will have teeth marks in my tongue, my hands will be chapped from wringing them and trying to keep quiet, my legs will be sore from constantly walking away and yet I will still end up hurting someone’s feelings before it’s all said and done. Things will be fine as long as everyone is eating and talking is minimal. It is after the meal that worries me because this is when everyone wants to catch up and talk.
Do they make muzzles for humans? I could probably use one tomorrow.
I wonder if you may be an aspie, along with being bipolar. You sound just like me, except that I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut — most of the time. Brutal honesty may make you feel good, but it just perpetuates the problems with other people. If there’s something I have to walk away from, I stay away. if you’re going to get back into it, you might just as well have stayed and gotten the unpleasantness over with.
I’ve rarely had the problem of someone deliberately goading me, but I don’t put up with that kind of crap.
I don’t know what an aspie is but I would love to know so I can look it up.
I try my best to keep conflict to a minimum and I try to walk away but it is impossible for me to stay away when we’re visiting relatives about an hour away from home. I have a short fuse so I don’t take much from anyone before exploding and all of them know this but they will deliberately antagonize me and then make me out to be the big mouthed bad guy. It’s frustrating…and the hardest thing for me to control.