Nov 29 2008
Coping with anger displacement and Bipolar Disorder
I have never heard anyone admit this, so I think it is important that it be said. As a person who has bipolar disorder, I tend to displace a lot of my anger on the ones I love the most. I would be willing to bet that many others like me do the exact same thing.
Most of my emotions end up being displayed as anger. I cannot deal with sadness, worry or stress so it all manifests itself as anger. Unfortunately, the ones I am closest to usually bear the brunt of this anger. Why? Because they will take it. Isn’t that terrible? I will hurt the people who care about me because I know they will tolerate it.
I try really hard not to do this but I just cannot stop myself. When things aren’t going well, I get frustrated and it builds up until I have a meltdown. I have no other way to rid myself of these emotions but to lash out at those around me.
I know that I am hurting the people who love me and I don’t like it at all. I try to restrain myself but it is of no use. This has been my biggest problem and it is one that I have not yet solved. I would love to have a solution for this and I am very interested in knowing how others deal with it.
I can offer no valuable feedback, except my thought that your beloveds must understand. Really tremendous journaling… Bright Blessings.
I know I have a tremendous amount of guilt over this one particular issue. I am sure others do, too. I have never seen anyone else admit to it and I wanted to say it is a problem for me and let others know that there are other people who do this as well. Thanks so much for your support!
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Wow. I commend you for having the strength to admit that. I think it’s important to remember that you’re a good person, and that you love them just as much as they love you, otherwise you would have no idea that thats what you are doing. Some people live their lives wondering why they can’t hold on to anybody, not even family.
Baby steps: start apologizing. Some people refuse to say “I’m sorry” if you are aware of whats going on you owe them that. You know better now.
Things will change if you make them change, talk to someone.
Married one year in our second marriage. Both of us are in our 50’s.I knew he was bipolar but I had no idea of the anger I would have to deal with. At first I believed him, that it was all my fault for something I said the wrong way. He refused to accept my apology or request for forgiveness. Instead he makes me pay the due he thinks he is owed. He yells at me. He puts me down because he says I cant understand his logic since I am “uneducated”. ( he has a masters, I have 2 yrs of college). The anger lasts about 10 days and then it breaks and he turns back into this sweet man. This happens at least every month and sometimes it is only 2 weeks between.
Every holiday brings an outburst. Every time he takes extra days off work. We were going to counseling but he didnt like the first counselor. We started a new one who he liked and picked. This weekend he said he was not going back. He said he is divorcing me because I will never change. I try to be quiet so as not to escalate his shouting. I try not to answer him but then he accuses me of stonewalling. If I answer him he interrupts me and keeps talking and wont let me talk.
Life is hell at the moment. Yes he is on lithium and has been for 30 yrs. I have 2 kids at home. This weekend they were shocked to hear the way he spoke to me. Please pray for me. Pray I get some help in dealing with this. It is so hard. I am a kind, easy going person but this is so awful I feel I am living a nightmare!
Hi Joy,
I totally understand what you are going through… I am a victim of a similar situation. It is unbearable. We have been together for nearly 13 years but things have not changed….
My thoughts and prayers are with you.