Being Bipolar

The year 2008 has been one of the most horrible years of my entire life. I am ready for it to be over with. However, I have to wait an extra second in this wretched year before it finally comes to an end.

Did you know that it takes the Earth exactly 365.2422 days to travel around the sun? This is why every four years we add an extra day to the month of February to keep the calendar accurate. In a similar fashion, the “leap second” is added to the clocks as needed to keep them in synch with the 24-hour rotation of the planet. The last extra second was added on December 31, 2005.

This began in 1972 and I am just now hearing about this. Regardless, it adds one more second to this seemingly endless year.

As I am counting down the final seconds of the year as midnight approaches, when I reach 1 I will know that it could have been over already. *Sigh.*

Happy New Year everyone! Let’s all hope for a wondrous 2009.

I hate stupid people. I don’t mean people with less than average intelligence. I mean people who do or say stupid things. They annoy me more than anything else imaginable.

Just in case you are wondering, I am somewhat manic and I am just ranting so I can get rid of some of this anger and frustration. I shall now return to my previously scheduled rant concerning stupid people.

A stupid person will repeat the same action over and over again and expect a different result each time. Have you ever watched someone try to assemble something without reading the instructions first? It really annoys me when someone tries to put the pieces together the same way over and over only to find out each time that it isn’t how it goes. Then mention what the instructions say. If they tell you that they know how to do it after you’ve witnessed all of that, you’re dealing with a stupid person.

So, you might be stupid if it takes you two hours or more to assemble something with detailed instructions that you refuse to read.

There are tons of other “you might be stupid if” scenarios, but I’m sure you get the point. Hopefully this will help you to understand any future rantings on stupid people.

Again, a stupid person isn’t someone who is less than intelligent. I suppose it would be accurate to say I am describing stupid behavior, which in my mind causes them to be a stupid person.

I was thinking…and that can be dangerous.

Seriously, I was pondering on how people around me view my mental illness. There are those who find it humorous at times, others who find it annoying, there are some who don’t know what to think and still others who just don’t know.

Some people don’t know. Can you believe that? My youngest son had an issue a while ago and we took him to see a therapist. We had to answer the normal questions about family history and when I mentioned that I had bipolar disorder, the therapist looked at me and said, “Really? You seem so….calm.” I took a deep breath and smiled but I was thinking several things. First, I couldn’t believe he actually said that. I seem calm? Am I supposed to be a raging maniac? Ok, ok. I mean am I supposed to be a raging maniac all the time? Secondly, did the therapist think I would lie about having this disorder because I thought that it was an exclusive club that I wanted to be a part of? Last but not least, I wasn’t going to remain calm for long if I kept dwelling on what I felt was sheer stupidity on his part.

My sister thinks my disorder is humorous at times. I use it to my advantage and in some ways it is helpful. It’s a relief, actually. She always says it’s not possible to be a member of our family and maintain your sanity. She’s right, and it’s funny in this case. I can always count on her to help me step back and laugh at myself. Sometimes, you just have to be able to laugh at it all or you would go stark raving mad. I can talk to her about what is going on in my life and laugh about it all and she will laugh along with me. It’s therapy served with a side of comedy. I like it!

Now my immediate family members are the poor souls who must deal with me every single day. They don’t think it’s funny at all. They are exposed to the private rantings that only occur behind close doors. Whenever I am having a really bad day, chances are they are too. I feel sorry for them. I really do. At times, I think that they may need therapy more than I do simply because they must tolerate me. I love them and they must really love me or else they would have had me committed just so they could enjoy a little peace and quiet of their own.

I have spent a couple of weeks now pouring over online resources available to people with mental illnesses. I already knew quite a bit about bipolar disorder but I wanted to know what was now available for people seeking information. I have found why many people are confused or give up altogether.

Google the word “bipolar”. The resulting search will yield about twenty million entries. I am not exaggerating. This would be overwhelming for anyone. With this many entries, where do you start? At the top, of course. Unfortunately, the top entry simply does not provide enough information.  It only gives a basic rundown of the disorder. The next few entries will give you clinical terms and medical jargon. This further confuses most people and by now, some people will have already given up.

The internet is a wonderful collection of information but sometimes it can be too much. Thus is the case with bipolar disorder. If you want someone to learn about the illness, you will need to point them in the right direction. Don’t expect that they will be able to easily find what they want to know in the vast amounts of webpages that discuss the disorder. Think about one particular thing you would like someone to know about bipolar disorder and then search through those links to find it. How long does it take? How many links must you click through? See my point?

When you find something of interest or a website that provides information you can relate to, save it. Send your links to those who want to know more about your illness. It will save everyone time and trouble and your friends and family will be able to read relevant information.

The National Institute of Mental Health provides a lot of great resources for people who have or care for someone with a mental illness. They provide information on most mental illnesses, in addition to many great publications.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

Booklets and fact sheets provided by NIMH are free of charge and you can choose to either download a PDF version immediately and/or order a hardcopy to be mailed to your home.

Even if you have a good understanding of your illness, it may be helpful to keep hardcopies of these publications on hand. Many people still do not know what Bipolar Disorder really is. Sometimes it is helpful to be able to give someone a booklet they can read to learn more about your illness. Educating others is a good way to reduce the stigma relating to mental illness and may result in others viewing you in a more positive light rather than with negative cynicism.

NIMH is also a great place to find the latest news and research on a variety of mental illnesses. You can find the results of clinical trials, studies involving medications and much more.