Dec 29 2008
Being Bipolar: How do others see me?
I was thinking…and that can be dangerous.
Seriously, I was pondering on how people around me view my mental illness. There are those who find it humorous at times, others who find it annoying, there are some who don’t know what to think and still others who just don’t know.
Some people don’t know. Can you believe that? My youngest son had an issue a while ago and we took him to see a therapist. We had to answer the normal questions about family history and when I mentioned that I had bipolar disorder, the therapist looked at me and said, “Really? You seem so….calm.” I took a deep breath and smiled but I was thinking several things. First, I couldn’t believe he actually said that. I seem calm? Am I supposed to be a raging maniac? Ok, ok. I mean am I supposed to be a raging maniac all the time? Secondly, did the therapist think I would lie about having this disorder because I thought that it was an exclusive club that I wanted to be a part of? Last but not least, I wasn’t going to remain calm for long if I kept dwelling on what I felt was sheer stupidity on his part.
My sister thinks my disorder is humorous at times. I use it to my advantage and in some ways it is helpful. It’s a relief, actually. She always says it’s not possible to be a member of our family and maintain your sanity. She’s right, and it’s funny in this case. I can always count on her to help me step back and laugh at myself. Sometimes, you just have to be able to laugh at it all or you would go stark raving mad. I can talk to her about what is going on in my life and laugh about it all and she will laugh along with me. It’s therapy served with a side of comedy. I like it!
Now my immediate family members are the poor souls who must deal with me every single day. They don’t think it’s funny at all. They are exposed to the private rantings that only occur behind close doors. Whenever I am having a really bad day, chances are they are too. I feel sorry for them. I really do. At times, I think that they may need therapy more than I do simply because they must tolerate me. I love them and they must really love me or else they would have had me committed just so they could enjoy a little peace and quiet of their own.
LOL! I feel just like this sometimes. Sometimes I’m ready to declare my husband a saint because I drive myself nuts.
I live in Morristown, just moved here from FL…I’m missing 80 degree Christmas’
did the doctor think you would be a ranting and raving lunatic? that comment was very unprofessional of him…listen, don’t worry about what other people might think. Even having bipolar makes youwho you are. It’s unfortunate at times and i’m sure it drives you insane…but you should see me three days before my period…my hubby almost committed me last month! It happens to the best of us honey and if i were you, i wouldn’t give anyone even 2 seconds of consideration. You are you and that’s how God made you and you should be proud to be who you are, imperfections(if that’s what you want to call it) and all!