Being Bipolar

In the spirit of awareness, I thought it would be helpful to point out ways you can help someone with bipolar disorder and things you shouldn’t do. Its sort of a “Do’s and Don’ts” list.

Do: Gently nudge us to resume normal activity and undertake everyday tasks.

Don’t: Keep pushing when I insist that I can’t do something.

Sometimes we do need a little push in the right direction, but be careful not to push too hard. If they are insistent that they can’t or don’t want to do something, then it is best to stop pushing the issue. It is very easy to make someone feel incompetent and it can serve to lower self esteem rather than bolster it.

Do: Offer to listen.

Don’t: Drill us with questions.

Sometimes we want to talk. Sometimes we don’t. We may want to talk about certain things and sometimes we don’t. It’s hard to tell. Lend an ear and let them know you are there to listen. Keep the advice to a minimum but reassure the person that you are there if they need someone to talk to.

Do: Let us know if you don’t really understand our illness.

Don’t: Tell someone it is all in their head or to get over it.

I know this is the quickest way to make me angry. I am sure I am not alone in this. It’ okay if you don’t understand and you want to know more. It is not okay for you to assume someone can make themselves better with sheer will power. It is an illness that requires medication much like many other illnesses. It cannot be treated any other way. It is no different than needing medication to regulate insulin, for example. Our medications regulate chemicals in the brain.

Do: Tell me it upsets you when I have a manic or depressive episode.

Don’t: Tell me you don’t like me when I have an episode or you don’t like the way I am.

I want to know how my episodes affect those close to me. I do not want you to mistake my illness for me and tell me you don’t like me. When you say you don’t like me or the way I am, that is exactly what you are doing. I can’t help the way I am when I have an episode. If you tell me that it upsets you to see me in a depressed or manic state, then I will be more likely to seek help because I don’t feel like I am being attacked and I don’t feel like I have to defend myself.

I am sure there are some of you who have things to add to this list. I could probably go on and on but I don’t want to hold you here reading all day!

Learn. Live. Love. Learn as much as you can, live the best you know how and love who you are. Have a great day!

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